Monday, February 20, 2012

I wanted you to change, but how dare you change?!

Most of us who have been on the journey to better health physically, emotionally, or spiritually, have
encountered a strange phenomenon that happens along the way. Some of the very people who always seem to call for change in our lives may be the most uncomfortable with the change we make. I know that seems puzzling, but this is the case for many people. I wanted to write about this because I think it needs to be said, if not for anything else at least to talk about how common this is, even though it is unexpected. There are terms in counseling, which I will not get into, that refer to the strange dynamic in friendships, marriages, and
family relationships when change happens and the other party in the relationship has to cope with that change. Many times even though the change is good it is still change and that is something that many people struggle with, let’s
be honest most of us struggle with that right? The great Mark Twain once said;
"No one likes change but a wet baby!" :) I love this quote and how true it is!

Even though good change brings stress it is definitely worth it! I think just recognizing the fact that not everyone around us will adjust to our changes the same helps us deal with their
reactions. It doesn’t mean that our friends, colleagues and loved ones do not like our changes or would even want us to revert back. Instead, it is that their "expected" way of relating with us and experiencing us has shiftedand this will take time to readjust to. Unfortunately the time of readjusting can be painful for both the one who has changed and the one who is eye witness to the change. I said that I was going to make my blog entries shorter so I will stop here for today, but I will say more about this next time. In my next entry I will share briefly how this can show up in our relationships in a couple of ways.
Till next time...


Phillip LaFon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phillip LaFon said...

Thanks for the post brother. That helps me sort through some emotions I feel right now but was not able to make heads or tales of them. This has honestly given me clarity.

Thank you,

FItness Solutions Trainer

tsmithnc said...

Thanks for those kind words Phil, I appreciate you sharing that, makes me feel good that what i said/experienced helps in some way.