Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hiding The Soul

A big hello to you all who read my entries. Hope you have been having a great summer! I wanted to write about something that intrigued me this past week. I have been in Boston Mass for a conference in which I was surrounded by counselors, social workers, chaplains, and bereavement specialists. In one of the case studies we were discussing,the individual was working through grief and in that time had experienced significant weight gain. As we were working on the case as a group someone said I think this person is "hiding her soul, and the weight gain is symbolic of that." Hmm.... some deep stuff right?

This immediately sent me inward as I thought about my own experience and all the years I spent hiding my soul. For me, I am convinced this was true. I have never been able to name the exact issue that led to my extreme obesity. I mean I cant point to a certain place and time and say, yes this is where at all began! I wish in some ways I could say that, because then I could analyze the whole thing and maybe better understand. Instead over a period of time, pound by pound, I covered up my soul. Feelings of discontent, self confidence issues, feeling forced into certain models or roles, I allowed all of this to cover the light inside me. Instead of taking control, I sunk deeper into a myself. My external condition was representing what was taking place internally, I was hiding my soul.

That has been the work over the past 3 years, this past week marked the anniversary of when I began to dig back to the surface of who I am and who I was created to be. I had no clue back in July of 2008 that I would begin a course that has been and continues to be the hardest challenge of my life. I have clawed my way through over 220 pounds but I am not finished. I am continuing to uncover my soul. I still have emotional, physical, and spiritual work to do. I am far from finished but I know that I am not alone. I sense that some of you are with me. Lets continue to unearth that which is the better part of you and me.

Till Next Time.... Travis


Serene said...

Travis, this is good stuff. Seriously, and as I was reading this I completely identified. I'm a stuffer. I stuff my feelings (specifically negative ones) and have had the issue of feeling forced into roles and models. Great food for thought of which I'm going to give it alot! Congratulations on 3 years of hard work, of which, in a way, the weight loss was the easiest! ~Serene

Susie said...

Travis, this is good stuff...I also at times try to "hide inside myself"...Thanks for sharing this. You are my inspiration to change some things for my own health!