I wanted you to change, but how dare you change?!

Most of us who have been on the journey to better health physically, emotionally, or spiritually, have
encountered a strange phenomenon that happens along the way. Some of the very people who always seem to call for change in our lives may be the most uncomfortable with the change we make. I know that seems puzzling, but this is the case for many people. I wanted to write about this because I think it needs to be said, if not for anything else at least to talk about how common this is, even though it is unexpected. There are terms in counseling, which I will not get into, that refer to the strange dynamic in friendships, marriages, and
family relationships when change happens and the other party in the relationship has to cope with that change. Many times even though the change is good it is still change and that is something that many people struggle with, let’s
be honest most of us struggle with that right? The great Mark Twain once said;
"No one likes change but a wet baby!" :) I love this quote and how true it is!

Even though good change brings stress it is definitely worth it! I think just recognizing the fact that not everyone around us will adjust to our changes the same helps us deal with their
reactions. It doesn’t mean that our friends, colleagues and loved ones do not like our changes or would even want us to revert back. Instead, it is that their "expected" way of relating with us and experiencing us has shiftedand this will take time to readjust to. Unfortunately the time of readjusting can be painful for both the one who has changed and the one who is eye witness to the change. I said that I was going to make my blog entries shorter so I will stop here for today, but I will say more about this next time. In my next entry I will share briefly how this can show up in our relationships in a couple of ways.

Till next time...

Travis

Small success is still SUCCESS!!

OK, yes I have been in hibernation since August!! I hope that everyone is having a great winter even though her in NC, we have avoided the worst elements of winter, so far anyway. I wanted to write to you today for a couple of reasons. First, to just make a statement that yes I am still here and continue to work on my own wellness goals. Several people have asked me when was the next update coming for the blog, which is an understandable question considering the lapse of time since my last post. As with anything in life, including our own exercise and wellness goals, it is easy to find reasons for why we do or don't do the things we plan :o) I will spare the excuses and instead say thank you for your continued support and the fact that many of you actually read the blog and even know when I have or have not updated!! You are truly great friends and supporters.

Second, I wanted to say a word about health. I have been in conversations with friends lately about their own exercise routine and the fact that many are starting the journey. What I keep hearing over and over is a tone of frustration. "I cant keep up with the others" or "I cant do this exercise exactly like the instructor demonstrated." Out of this frustration there is a tendency to internalize this as negative "self talk." Before long the message we give our selves is something like this, "look at you, you cant do this, why don't you just stop, look how out of shape you are, why don't you just stop trying?!" Sound familiar, yeah I have said those things to myself as well. Here is the deal, yes you are right you are not doing the routine exactly like the instructor said, but hey you are doing a heck of a lot more than you were last week!!! Keep up the work and you will be doing a lot more than you are this week!! I encourage you don't get so caught up in what you perceive as "doing enough or doing it the right way," that you lose sight of what YOU ARE doing and the progress YOU ARE making. Let me tell you, a journey to better health is long and is frustrating at times and you will be well served to learn to celebrate all of the successes along the way, both the big and small. Stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself for making improvements that are changing your life for good! Keep sight of the long term goal and before long you will be doing things that you never imagined that you could accomplish!!!

Your fellow traveler,
Travis

Southern Comfort, not just in a bottle

Let's admit it, most of us find some comfort in food. In the south we have made an art out of comfort eating. I mean every time grief is involved we try to say we are sorry by bringing a green bean casserole or a bucket of fried chicken! Right? Come on admit it you know its true. Whether we like it or not many of us struggle with eating in times
of stress, grief, and even joy. I think this comes from both natural and learned behaviors. The key to conquering our vices is awareness and planning.

Believe me I speak from personal experiences here, I find myself looking to food at times to provide what I feel like I am missing out on. We disguise this often in terms of reward. I have had such a tough day, I deserve "this or that." I have found that there is nothing wrong with enjoying food and there are times, yes you indulge, which is expected and fine. The difference is when you are continually "rewarding" yourself daily or weekly. Part of the key to weight loss is learning moderation along with food choices and significant exercise.

One of the questions that I often ask myself which has helped me so much in my own weight loss has been this: "why am I eating (or wanting to eat) this right now?" Sometimes the answer is, I have planned for this and it's ok, which means I am aware this is something out of the routine but I have conserved some calories and I know that have or will have exercised an adequate amount. Then there are times that the answer is, "I am feeling sad or overwhelmed or I am bored." It is important here to say "ok I don't need this vice," and find a different outlet for my stress. I admit that sounds neat and clean and it doesn't work always! Believe me I live in and experience reality :) but if we continue to ask the question, it can work.

The more you ask this of yourself the more it works. I use this question when I find myself eating at unplanned times and when I am eating or wanting to eat something outside the norm. Of course I don't ask this of myself when I am eating a breakfast or lunch that I have planned out and know that my choices meet my goals and are part of my eating plan. I do ask this question when I find myself sneaking into the cabinets mid afternoon hoping against all hope that I might stumble upon some sour cream and onion chips that I swore I would never buy again! ;)

Till next time....
Travis

Hiding The Soul

A big hello to you all who read my entries. Hope you have been having a great summer! I wanted to write about something that intrigued me this past week. I have been in Boston Mass for a conference in which I was surrounded by counselors, social workers, chaplains, and bereavement specialists. In one of the case studies we were discussing,the individual was working through grief and in that time had experienced significant weight gain. As we were working on the case as a group someone said I think this person is "hiding her soul, and the weight gain is symbolic of that." Hmm.... some deep stuff right?

This immediately sent me inward as I thought about my own experience and all the years I spent hiding my soul. For me, I am convinced this was true. I have never been able to name the exact issue that led to my extreme obesity. I mean I cant point to a certain place and time and say, yes this is where at all began! I wish in some ways I could say that, because then I could analyze the whole thing and maybe better understand. Instead over a period of time, pound by pound, I covered up my soul. Feelings of discontent, self confidence issues, feeling forced into certain models or roles, I allowed all of this to cover the light inside me. Instead of taking control, I sunk deeper into a myself. My external condition was representing what was taking place internally, I was hiding my soul.

That has been the work over the past 3 years, this past week marked the anniversary of when I began to dig back to the surface of who I am and who I was created to be. I had no clue back in July of 2008 that I would begin a course that has been and continues to be the hardest challenge of my life. I have clawed my way through over 220 pounds but I am not finished. I am continuing to uncover my soul. I still have emotional, physical, and spiritual work to do. I am far from finished but I know that I am not alone. I sense that some of you are with me. Lets continue to unearth that which is the better part of you and me.

Till Next Time.... Travis

Hibernation

Ok so it has been some time since I last posted.......... Ok! it has been a really really long time since I posted! I am not real sure why I have been silent in the blogosphere, not a real good reason actually. I guess like anything else if you are not making a strong conscious effort, it can fall by the wayside. Ok I am through with my confession and apologies for the hiatus.

I wanted to log on and say a few things. First I have continued to work on my wellness goals. These past few months have been challenging but I continue to do what I know has brought me this far. For some reason I am struggling with the weight loss, well actually I am plateaued. I am in the discerning process now and I am trying to figure out why this is happening. I have contemplated everything from, well maybe this is where I am supposed to be, to, I am a loser I can’t do this anymore!!! It is funny and kind of sad how quick the human emotional pendulum can swing :) In any event I am not being passive about this whole thing. I am exercising and trying some higher sprits of intensity. I have also started tracking every bite I eat again. This was key to my early weightloss, so I am getting back to the basics. If I don’t lose then fine, I will know that I am settled in and I will have to accept that but I need try and make sure that I am diligent to do the work. I try not to get caught up on a number but rather aim to be healthy and allow whatever to appear on the scale. I admit that sounds noble but it is HARD to live out!

The second thing I wanted to accomplish by resurfacing on the blog is to encourage you all who also continue to push forward and I know that you are working hard. Keep up the good work and please know that even after losing over 22o pounds I still have to work to live a healthy lifestyle and I still face my own challenges. We are indeed in this together! I hope I will be posting soon and giving you a good report.

Till next time..... Travis

Checking in

Hi everyone, I know it has been a couple of weeks since I last posted and I wanted to check in with you! I have stepped up my exercise routine and I have been very busy. Unfortunately I did not increase the exercise without kicks, screams, and adamant protest :) I have been doing this long enough to know I can't keep everything same, but it still not easy. So I hope everyone is keeping it going on your own health and wellness goals. I will check in soon. See ya out there on the sidewalks, pavement, and the gym!

Till next time....
Travis

Back in the Sky

Hi everyone! Wow here in the south February has given us a glimpse of spring and I am loving it!! As the weather gets warmer I hope you will take advantage of the fact you can get outside and enjoy the warmth and beauty of the outdoors. My personal preference is to get my cardio outside. Treadmills and ellipticals are wonderful and they both have been very helpful for me but there is nothing that can replicate the feeling of a run or walk outdoors. You feel the warmth, the breeze, and the scenery changes as you go!! I also feel like I get a better workout when I run outdoors opposed to the treadmill. My stride is natural and the incline constantly changes, not to mention the window shopping I get done along my route through town :) We need the sunlight, vitamin D is important and we know that sunshine can brighten our mood. It just makes sense to take that exercise routine outdoors. The good news is that as we get closer to spring you and I will have even more and more opportunities to get outside, not to mention the fact that daylight is lasting longer as we approach warmer weather!! Do I sound excited??
I also wanted to give you an update. Last week I was talking about "running against the wind," well I have powered through my funk and I am back in action. I am excited because on Sunday of this week I overcame a hurdle for me. I was able to run a little over 6 miles. I know for some that is not a great distance but for me it was huge! I had a mental block where I felt that I could not attain that distance, well I did and I have all plans of doing it again this weekend! I have lost a lot of weight but I still have new goals. That's what keeps me going, there is always new challenges for us to conquer! We are in this thing together. Neither of us are at the finish line waiting for the other to arrive we are running together. I have learned to celebrate my success but continue to set new goals for the road ahead.
I just checked the weather, here in the foothills of NC we are projected to be in the mid 60's today and mid 70's tomorrow!!! Try to get out today and do something, even if it is for just 15-20 mins. Come on you can spare that much time, right? I promise you will feel better if you take the time to do it. In the wise words of Sheryl Crow, "lets soak up the sun!"

Till next time.... Travis